


With A Thousand Sweet Kisses

by Holistic_Warbler



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016), Glee, History Boys - All Media Types
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Blaine Anderson is Bad at Feelings, F/F, F/M, M/M, More tags will be added as I go along, Stuart Dakin is Bad at feelings, Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings, almost everyone is gay, guys its 1am and im dying, honestly everyone is bad at feelings, posin and brotzly are cannon change my mind, this is author is not okay, you dont need to know the other two fandoms if you only know one of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-11-06 08:13:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17936108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holistic_Warbler/pseuds/Holistic_Warbler
Summary: In a future world, the a superior group of people, the Elite, try to expand their population. Once every age group turns 21 in the Elite, they are to chose a Common, one of the group of lesser people, to wed. That person is trained to eventually become one of the Elite, thus expanding the population.Stuart Dakin never cared about the system. He was never going to change his habits of sleeping around with anyone relatively attractive, and he was cure his Chosen would understand that.Blaine Anderson was ecstatic about the system. He wanted his opportunity to chose someone he could fall in love, and who would love him back. He couldn't look away from a pair of gorgeous blue eyes.Dirk Gently needed the system. He was going to use it to connect to his childhood friend who cut off all contact at a young age.What happens when these three storylines combine? What will happen to the system itself?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HolisticFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolisticFangirl/gifts).



> Y'all it's 1am and this is gonna be a hot mess.
> 
> There's gonna be some pretty heavy angst in this.
> 
> If you only belong to one fandom, you don't need to know the other two in order to understand the storyline.
> 
> Title is from Rent the Musical
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism, or point out any spelling or grammar mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

Stuart Dakin's eyes searched amongst the line of young men and women, looking for a particularly despondent face. If he had to chose someone, he might as well do a good deed. Or something.

In all honesty, Dakin didn't really care about the system. Why did he need to marry anyone? It's not like he was going to be faithful to them. No, he practically  _lived_ on one night stands (Fiona and Irwin were pretty enjoyable regulars). He wasn't going to change that because his people needed to "expand their numbers". What did that even mean. The entire concept of falling in love was a fantasy made up by losers desperate to prove that the existence of the human race wasn't entirely meaningless, and frankly, Dakin was fucking sick of it.

So he'd pick a Chosen like they wanted him to. He'd get some sad sack out of a sad situation. Maybe be friends with them, have some casual sex or something. But he wasn't going to stop being himself and build his life around this new Chosen.

Nobody really stood out to him. They all seemed...not quite  _happy_ per say, but none of them seemed to be looking for an escape. They just seemed like...people, going about their lives. His eye continued to wander. It was customary that Elite would often spend quite a while looking through the line of Common, hoping to Chose the right one, but Dakin didn't want that. He just wanted to get this whole process over with.

His eyes scanned the line for the sixth (maybe seventh?) time when they finally met with a pair that seemed to be what he was looking for. The periwinkle eyes weren't particularly  _sad_ or anything, but they seemed sensitive and fragile. Part of Dakin felt that the young man he was looking at would be better off in the safety and comfort of an Elite instead of a difficult Common one.

Plus, he wasn't bad looking. He was definitely gay, judging by the plaid blue and gray shirt he was wearing. Dakin was sure he could convince him to participate in some purely platonic hookups.

"You," called out Dakin, pointing his finger. "Blondie in the plaid shirt."

The young man's eyes widened profusely. He pointed to his chest as if to ask " _me_ _?"._

"Yes, you," said Dakin, rolling his eyes. "Please kindly step out from the line." The man did as asked. Dakin walked up to him, pulling him aside, allowing for the next Elite of twenty-one years old pick their Chosen. "What's your name?"

"D-David," the blonde told him. His voice was light and soft. "David Posner. Scripps just calls me Posner, though. Or just Pos."

Dakin was going to ask who Scripps was, but then it occurred to him that he didn't really care. "Stuart Dakin," he informed Posner, clasping a hand on his shoulder. "And I would  _wildly_ appreciate it if you only called me Dakin. You're gay, right?"

Posner nodded, smiling an awkward, seemingly forced smile. "Yes, I'm definitely gay. So...how does this work? Because I don't want to rush into anything big like...intimacyand such. And do you like...return me if we don't fall in love? Get a different one?"

Dakin slightly resented the fact that Posner thought he would treat him like a returnable object. "That sorta the catch here. I'm not looking for a relationship. I actually really don't be in one, ever. So the deal is that we can be friends, even be close, but we're gonna have what's called an 'open marriage'. We both get to see whomever we may please. You cool with?"

Posner was surprisingly accepting, shrugging and telling Dakin that it was more than he'd ever expected anyway. That saddened Dakin, and he made a mental note to get Posner a boyfriend as soon as possible.

Soon, Elite soldiers were breaking them up, informing Posner that he had two days to pack as much as he can before they come to "collect" him. One of the Elite soldiers grabbed Posner's shoulder and dragged him away, and Posner's grimace was really pissing Dakin off. That was his goddamn Chosen, and they shouldn't touch him like that.

His sudden internal outraged surprised. Maybe it was just that Posner seemed really sweet, and it wasn't right to hurt someone that sweet. Maybe he was losing his mind. Who fucking knows.

*****

The next day, Dakin found himself looking David Posner's name in Common's Address Book. He found himself wanting to visit Posner, to see him again before he moved in permanently. It was for no big reason, he just wanted to know him better. It would be nice if they became good friends.

He walked down the Commons Village, eyeing all of the dirty people warily. He usually didn't see any Commons, for they weren't allowed in the Elite Village. None of them dared to stare at him back.

"Excuse me," a gruff voice said behind him. Dakin turned to see a ginger Common, his face covered in dirt. "You're the Elite who Chose Posner, right? I'm Donald Scripps, his best friend."

Dakin grinned. "Yeah, yeah, he did mention you. Nice to meet you, I suppose."

"Posner told me about your...arrangement," Scripps informed him, clearly trying to keep his voice as polite as possible for fear of what the soldiers might do if he disrespected an Elite.

"Is he not okay with it?" asked Dakin. "Cause he seemed fine--"

"He's totally fine with it," Scripps told him. "He was completely understanding, and seemingly happy with his situation."

"So...what's the problem?"

Scripps sighed, as if he wasn't sure how to phrase what he wanted to say. "The problem is that Pos is so innocent that someone could literally beat him to death and he would still assume the best in them. He's definitely tough, and he's been through a lot of crap with the piece of shit that is his dad. But he'll still be nothing but kind to anyone he meets, even the worst kinds of people."

Dakin chuckled. "Meaning me?"

Scripps shrugged. "I dunno, I don't know you yet. I have no idea what kind of person you are. Just...be careful with Pos, please? And take care of him. He's under the impression that if he asks for help when he's struggling then he becomes a burden, so please just make sure that he's actually happy. He deserves that."

Dakin nodded, logging the information in the back of his mind. "Don't worry about him."

Scripps smiled awkwardly at him. "Thanks," he said, turning and walking away. Dakin stared after his retreating head.  _The piece of shit that was his dad_...what did that mean? What was there about Posner's life he should know?

A ding rang in Dakin's pocket. He took out his phone.

_Fiona: My parents aren't home_

_Fiona: You free to come over?_

Dakin smiled to himself, making his way in the direction of Fiona's village. He could see Posner tomorrow.

*****

On the day that Posner moved in, there was a large purple blotch surrounding his eye. Dakin's curiosity was peaked.

"Did you fall?" asked Dakin. "Did someone hit you?"

"Doesn't matter," said Posner, walking past him. Dakin was going to let it go, but then he remember Scripps, and he realized he couldn't let it go.

"Hey, I mean it," he said, as playfully as he could.

Posner bit his lip nervously. "My father didn't like that I was a Chosen."

Dakin raised his eyebrows. "So he  _hit_ you? That seriously fucked up."

Posner chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "W-well, I mean, i-it isn't--wasn't--really  _that_ bad. I mean l-like, t-there are p-plenty of p-p-people who are w-w-w-w-worse--"

Dakin shook his head, steering Posner into their room. "Well, why don't you unpack. You don't have to deal with that shitty excuse for a parent again."

Posner flushed bright red. "Thank you, Dakin."

Dakin watched Posner disappear into his room. There was a twisting feeling in his stomach, but he ignored it as best as he could. This wasn't going to change him or his life. He wouldn't let it.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning in this chapter for mentions of depression and suicidal tendencies.
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Blaine Anderson's eyes eagerly searched the line of Commons. He would know which one was the right one when he saw him. He would just... _feel_ it.

With one hundred percent of his being, Blaine  _loved_ the system. It made sure that he would get to marry someone, that he would never be alone. He would have someone to take care of, someone to take care of him back. His whole life would change for the better. Whoever he chose, he would make sure to love them for his whole life, make sure to keep them happy and safe. Then he would definitely love him back. Honestly, this was the moment Blaine was looking forward to his entire life. 

That being said...he wasn't sure how he felt about changing someone's entire lifestyle. Taking someone away from their friends and family seemed cruel. He didn't want to hurt his Chosen, didn't want him to ever have to feel pain. That was what Blaine  _didn't_ like about the system. But, then again, wouldn't he be changing someone's life for the better? His Chosen would still be able to see his everyone he loved, but he was also going to live in the height of luxury. He would be trained to be an Elite.

He kept looking and looking, practically  _begging_ for someone to stand out to him, to be the right one for him. His Chosen had to be beautiful, kind, sophisticated, everything he'd dreamed of. Someone who could make him happy. He stopped when he noticed a pale brunette with the brightest, bluest, most dazzling eyes he'd ever seen. He knew, in that moment, that this was the one. The one who would make him happy, the one who he would love for the rest of his life. 

Blaine ran his eyes up and down the young man, who was looking slightly uncomfortable under his gaze. He had impeccable fashion, and Blaine admired the light, split in half turtle neck sweater he had over his red, button-down shirt. They sort of ripped up and dirty, but they still looked good on him.

"You," said Blaine, pointing his finger towards the brunette. "In the half-sweater."

The young man's expression turned slightly hostile. He raised an eyebrow at Blaine, stepping forward cautiously. Blaine took his hand, pulling him quickly to the side. "Hi, I'm Blaine, Blaine Anderson." he said, excitedly.

His Chosen took his hand away. "Kurt," he responded. "Kurt Hummel." His voice was stone cold. Blaine's heart dropped a little.

"Look, I know it might be a bit...scary, but..." he tried to search for the right words to make Kurt feel better. "But, we, we can adjust to it, we can pull through, together."

Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at him warily. "I don't  _want_ to adjust to it. I just want to stay at home with my family."

"You'll still get to see your family," Blaine assured him, quickly. "You can see them whenever you want!"

"It's not about  _seeing_ them, it's about living with Common. I'ma Common, my life  _revolves_ around being a Common."

Panic was rising in Blaine's chest. His Chosen didn't want to leave. His Chosen didn't want to move in with him, to build a relationship with him. Oh God...did Kurt  _hate_ him? He felt like he was going to throw up. "I-I-I--We can push through it together. I know it's scary--"

"If you think this is scary for you, then you must have had a pretty sheltered life," snapped Kurt. A few Elite soldiers came over then, taking Kurt by the arm and telling him to go home and pack. As Kurt let himself get pulled away, Blaine watched him go, wonder how on  _Earth_ he could solve this one.

*****

Blaine urgently knocked on Kurt's door the next day, hoping to start fresh with him. Kurt had clearly been terrified the previous day, but Blaine wanted to show him that he had nothing to be afraid of. That he would  _never_ hurt his Chosen.

A tall (like, very tall, Blaine very intimidated) young man opened the door. He looked nothing like Kurt, his hair was darker, his eyes were brown, and his skin was a completely different skin tone. He narrowed his eyes at Blaine. "You're the Elite who Chose my little brother, aren't you?"

Blaine's mouth opened and closed. He wasn't sure how to respond.

"I'm Finn Hudson," the tall man informed him. "I'm Kurt's step brother."

Blaine brightened. "You're the Common my friend Rachel Chose!" he exclaimed. "Rachel Berry, the very short, very loud brunette?"

Finn nodded. "Yep, that's me. You need to leave, though, Kurt doesn't want to see you."

Blaine's heart sank in his chest. "Why doesn't he want to see me."

Finn sighed, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind him. "Look, I try not to tell people this about Kurt, but since you're the one whose gonna be living with him, you should probably know. Kurt's depressed. Like, really depressed."

"W-what?" Blaine stammered, unsure of what to say. "He seemed so...alive."

Finn rubbed his temple. "That's a cover up. None of us knew until last year. At least I didn't. Not until I found him lying on the floor with an empty pill bottle in his hands."

Blaine gasped, his mouth hanging open. "I'm so sorry."

Finn nodded, seeming like he was miles away. "He's gotten better from therapy and stuff, but also largly because of Burt, his dad. Burt helped him through a lot of really rough shit. Leaving him's gonna be hard for Kurt."

"He'll still get to see him, though!" shouted Blaine. "I'm not stealing him away!"

"Look, man, he just doesn't want to leave," Finn told him. "You're coming in and changing his life just as he's starting to get better. He kind of resents you for that right now." The taller man stood up and opened his door again, stepping through it. "Just give him some time. He'll come around."

Finn closed the door in Blaine's face.

*****

"So, this is our room," Blaine told Kurt the day he moved in, trying to be as cheerful as possible. "That's where we'll sleep."

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "Could I possibly sleep on the couch for now?"

Blaine's breathing grew heavier, his smile becoming forced. "I-I guess."

"Great," Kurt simply said, dragging his suitcase out of the room and towards the living room. Blaine followed him as fast as he could.

"Do you want to unpack now?" asked Blaine. "I was thinking that we could go out for lunch, maybe with Finn and Rachel, break the ice a little, you know? I also thought since he's your brother, you know, you would be more comfortable, more at home, and then when we get back we can watch--"

"Please just leave me alone," snapped Kurt, not even looking at Blaine. Blaine silently nodded, making his way back to his bedroom. At the door, he turned to look back at his Chosen, who was setting up the couch like a bed, his brunette hair perfectly sculpted on top of his head. "I'd prefer for you not to watch me!" Kurt shouted.

Blaine quickly let himself into his room. He closed the door and dropped onto his bed, burying his head deep into his pillow.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been procrastinating on homework for so long so that I could write this.
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dirk Gently bounced up an down with excitement, searching for that one face, that  _one_ face he'd been waiting to see again for God knows how long. His heart was thumping hard in his chest, drowning out the noise around him. He could barely focus on the line of Common in front of him.

 _What if he isn't here?_ Dirk thought to himself.  _What if I got didn't remember his face right? What if I can't find him in time?_

Dirk dismissed all of his negative thoughts. Not today. Not the day when he could finally fix everything. Dirk didn't agree with the system one bit,  _hated_ it in fact, but he needed it right now. If he wasn't allowed to be friends with someone because they were Common, then he would make them Elite, just like him. Maybe then Todd would start to listen to him again. Maybe then Todd would agree to be friends again. Maybe Todd missed Dirk just as much as Dirk missed him. Maybe Todd had spent nights lying awake, just  _imagining_ how things could've gone differently, how they could get their friendship back.

Maybe they could fight the system together! Maybe Todd would agree that the entire thing was pretty bloody fucked up. Maybe they could take action, fight the system, find a way so that no one was forced into a life they wanted. Maybe they could make the world better once they were united again. Maybe this day would be the start of Dirk's life being happy. Maybe Choosing Todd could change everything. Maybe...

Maybe Dirk should stop starting all of his sentences with "maybe".

Nobody in the line was the right one. Everyone was too tall for starters, Todd was a very short person. No one's hair was quite the right shade of brown, or the right amount of curly. There were no bright blue eyes that had made his best friend so recognizable...until there suddenly were. The bright blue eyes he'd missed for the last four years, staring back at him. Dirk's heart stopped, his head spinning. It was him. Todd.

"You," he said, pointing his finger. He knew he didn't need to say anything else. He knew his words would be understood.

Todd froze, turning stiff, but he stepped forward. Dirk ran up quickly, dragging him to the side and pulling him into a hug, throwing his arms around Todd's shoulders and pulling him close. Dirk felt Todd tug a little bit, and he quickly let go.

"Right, I forgot, you're not very big on hugging," Dirk blurted. "I'm very sorry about that, you know it's been a very long time, did you realize we were  _seventeen_ the last time we saw each other? Also, I understand you probably don't want to date, we don't have to, we can just live with each other, it's just you said we couldn't be friends cause I was Elite and you were Common, but now we're  _both_ Elite, so we can be friends again, right?"

Todd chuckled. "You haven't changed at all. I forgot how much you talk."

Dirk grinned at seeing Todd smile. "Come on, I don't talk  _that_ much, I know plenty of people who talk more than I do."

The old Todd would've grinned and said something, "Who exactly?", but this Todd just nodded, looking at the ground.

"Dirk...look, I get why you did this, one hundred percent. I just...I don't think...how do I say this..."

"Is something wrong?" Dirk asked, worry growing in his chest. Todd looked up at him like he was going to say something, but something in his expression changed.

"No," he said, obviously forcing a smile onto his face. "Everything's great, Dirk. It was a great idea."

Dirk could tell something was wrong, but he didn't say anything. He was sure it would all work out well in the end.

A group of Elite soldiers were suddenly there, telling Todd that he had to leave. Dirk felt disappointed, but also more excited than he'd been in a very long time. "I missed you, Todd!" he called out.

Todd smiled at him but was silent as the soldiers took him away.

*****

Dirk would always remember the Brotzman Household for the rest of his life. More of his childhood was spent here with Todd and his sister, laughing and playing for hours until Riggins, Dirk's step father, would come and bring him back home.

(He hated his step father)

(Not only for taking him away)

He reached the top of the stairs, ringing the bell once. Then twice. Then three times. He could barely hold in his excitement.

A pale, petite girl with mousy brown hair and brown, bloodshot eyes, opened the door, her eyes blinking wearily. They widened as soon as she saw who was at the door. "Dirk?"

"Amanda!" shouted Dirk. "Oh my God, It's been  _forever_ , I've missed you for so long."

Amanda was grinning back at him. "I've been meaning to talk to you, actually. I need to talk to you about Todd."

"It's  _great,_ isn't it?" exclaimed Dirk. "Now we can all be friends again, we can--"

Amanda put her hands on Dirk's. "Dirk, Todd isn't your Todd anymore. He's...different. Sadder."

Dirk's smile vanished. "What do you mean? Has something happened?"

Amanda shrugged. "Four years can change you," she simply said. She would've gotten away with her lie if Dirk weren't the world's greatest detective.

"Amanda, what happened to him?"

Amanda sighed, letting go of Dirk's hands to run her own through her hair. "It wasn't so bad at first. He was sad a lot after you were gone. I thought he was going to come to his senses and find you again. Then he got it."

"It?"

"Pararibulitis. We both did, actually."

Dirk's heart sank like a rock. He'd much about pararibulitis, the family disease that caused vivid hallucinations. 

"Todd hid all the time," Amanda went on. "He never visited, he never let anyone stay over. When I told him to reconnect with you, he had a huge fit and started throwing stuff, then broke down and said he didn't want you to see him the way he was."

"Is he...okay?" asked Dirk, dreading the answer. "Are  _you_ okay?"

"Todd got better," Amanda told him. "I didn't. Not yet at least. But Dirk, you gotta be careful with Todd, okay? He needs you, but I'm worried. I'm worried you're gonna get hurt."

"Todd would never hurt me," Dirk informed Amanda because that  _obvious._

Amanda smiled sadly. "It was good seeing you again, Dirk," she said, walking back into the house. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Amanda," Dirk said, smiling and waving.

Amanda flickered her fingers in a soft wave, closing the door.

*****

"Todd?" Dirk called the evening his Chosen moved in. "Todd? Can I talked to you about something."

Todd nodded, his eyes distant.

"I visited Amanda the other day and she told me about...you know about the..."

Todd raised his eyebrow, clearly having no idea what Dirk was trying to say. Dirk took a deep breath. "She told me about the disease."

There was a beat of silence. Suddenly, Todd's eyes filled with anger. "I fucking  _told_ her--"

"It's my fault!" Dirk quickly said, jumping up. "I could sort of tell she was hiding something, I pressured her into telling me, kind of, I had no idea you wanted to keep it a secret--"

"Dirk, you're fine," Todd interrupted, grabbing Dirk's shoulders. "You did nothing wrong, okay? Don't panic."

Dirk nodded, relaxing into Todd's grip. For a fleeting moment, everything was exactly the way it should've been. Todd seemed to sense it as well, quickly pulling his hands away and turning away. "Doesn't matter. It's in the past. Go to sleep, I'll be there soon."

Dirk lay in bed later that night, staring up the ceiling. This wasn't unusual. Dirk could almost never sleep when he was supposed to.

The door creaked open. Dirk quickly flipped over on his side, closing his eyes. He didn't want to give Todd any reason to worry about him. He heard footsteps around the bed, then heard someone climb in next to him. He suddenly felt a soft hand touch his arm.

"I missed you too, Dirk," a soft voice whispered. "I missed you so goddamn much."

Dirk sleep much more easily that night than usual.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for an abusive parent.
> 
> Wow this chapter sucks hahahahaha.
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but feel free to give constructive feedback.
> 
> Enjoy!

It'd been almost a week since he'd been Chosen, but David Posner was still surprised his new setting every time he woke up. He opened his eyes to dazzling sunlight peaking out from behind the curtain and blinked a few times until they adjusted. Surprisingly, Dakin wasn't sleeping in the bed next to him when he looked over. That didn't make sense. Dakin never woke up before ten o'clock. It was then that Posner looked over at his digital clock to find out that it was actually eleven thirty am.

He probably would have laughed at himself falling out of the bed if he were the one watching it. But, alas, he was not, and, in reality, he actually got quite a nasty bruise from it on his shoulder. So, no, he did not laugh.

When Posner somehow managed to gain his composure once again, he stepped out of the bedroom and walked across the house to the kitchen for some breakfast (was it still breakfast or was it now brunch?), and he found Dakin standing at the sink, scrubbing at an empty glass. There was a pile of bowls and dishes resting on the marble counter.

"Did you host a feast for breakfast?" asked Posner.

"Good morning to you, too" replied Dakin. "These are from last night, actually."

Posner felt the blood drain from his face. Oh,  _god,_ it'd been his turn last night, hadn't it?

*****

_"Didn't I tell you to wash the dishes before I got home?"_

_"Sh--Dad, I'm so sorry--"_

*****

"Shit, Dakin, I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Dakin told him, nonchalantly. "You were really tired last night so I let you sleep. You were sleeping this morning so I figured I might as well do it." He placed the glass in the dishwasher, then grabbed a plate to repeat the process. "You can do it tonight or something, I guess."

Posner's left hand started twitching.

*****

_"Why didn't you follow my simple instruction, David?"_

_"D-dad, I had homework, it slipped my mind...p-please don't be mad."_

*****

"Please don't be mad," Posner muttered, his entire arm shaking now.

Dakin looked up from the sink, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Mad? You think I'm mad at you? Why would I be mad?"

*****

_"Mad? You think I'm mad at you? Why the hell would I be mad? Are you implying that I'm irrational, David?!"_

_"No! I didn't mean--I'm sorry--"_

*****

"No, I didn't mean--I'm sorry--"

"Posner," said Dakin, stepping closer. "Posner, calm down, you're shaking. Can you stop shaking?"

*****

_"Stop fucking shaking!"_

_A stinging slap rang out in the room._

_*****_

A hand grabbed Posner's shaking arm, snapping him back to reality. He looked up into Dakin's concerned, brown eyes and forced his breathing to even out. He took his arm back, muttering apologies about his freakout, about his father, about his existence--

"I get it," Dakin told him. Posner found himself chuckling bitterly. "No, really, I  _get it_ _,"_ Dakin repeated.

Before Posner could figure out what that meant, someone was walking into the house through the front door.

"Oh," said the tall man with dirty blond hair and roundish glasses. "Am I inter--"

"No," said Dakin, stepping away from Posner and walking up to the man. "Irwin, Posner. Posner, Irwin. Great, now that you know each other, Posner, I should've warned you, but I'm going to need you to leave. Unless you'd like to--"

"No!" yelled Posner, understanding what was going on. "I'll go get...some brunch." He rushed towards the door, yelling a "Nice to meet you!" at Irwin before getting the fuck out of there.

*****

Posner had been to this cafe many times before, but this time was different. Now he was Chosen. Now he was going to become an Elite. He was no longer one of the Common, and none of them would dare look him in the eye. None of them would overstep their boundaries. 

While looking through a menu to decide on what to buy, he noticed a familiar head of auburn hair in the crowd. He pushed through to reach his best friend, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a hug.  _"Scripps!"_

Posner felt another pair of arms pull him close. "Holy shit, Pos, it's bee--"

Suddenly, the two were being ripped apart violently. He struggling against whoever was holding him back as he watched Scripps get pushed to the ground by a soldier. "Don't you  _dare_ try something like that again unless you want to die!"

Posner tried to pull his arm out of the other soldier's grip. "I hugged  _him!"_ he screamed.

The soldier turned around, his face completely devoid of any human emotion. "That's the only reason we're not killing him on the spot," he informed Posner. "Do yourself a favor and stay away from scum like that."

Posner managed to pull himself away from the other soldier. He watched at the two of them walked away, glaring and Scripps. He turned to face his friend, who was just grinning sadly at Posner. "I guess we have to remember to be more careful now," he said, laughing humorlessly.

Though his heart felt heavy, Posner faked the best smile he could. "I guess I'll buy us pancakes."

*****

"Hey," Dakin greeted at the end of the day. "Sorry I had to kick you out earlier."

"Had to," repeated Posner. "Because sexual relations are a necessity for you, right?"

Dakin grinned, shrugging. "Just being honest here," he replied, which made Posner laugh. "Seriously, though, you good? That was a Mega Freakout."

"It's strange how I can sense that random capitilization," Posner replied, which made Dakin laugh. "I'm fine, though. Just a bit of a traumatic flashback, but I'll get over it."

Dakin nodded, seeming distant. Posner wanted to ask what he'd meant that morning by "I get it", but he decided it wasn't his business. If Dakin wanted to talk to him, Dakin would talk to him.

"I'm going to do the dishes," Posner told him, making his way to the kitchen. "I want to," he said, interrupting Dakin's immediate protest. The latter just shrugged, taking out his phone to presumably play a game. Posner turned and quickly sped to the kitchen.

(Best to be safe)


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for depression and suicidal thoughts.
> 
> Credit to Stevie Wonder for the song Sunshine of My Life.
> 
> Be nice in the comments but don't be scared to give constructive feedback.
> 
> Enjoy!

Kurt Hummel had loved baking for as long as he could remember. Some of his most treasured memories were standing at the kitchen counter with his mother, hands covered in flour, baking powder on his face, chocolate on his precious clothing. It was the one time he could let himself go, let himself get dirty. As long as the product came out perfect in the end. Kurt would often fondly look back on those days were his mom was teaching him about baklava, or crème brûlée, or some other new food. She would hold his tiny, pale hands, helping crack eggs and put together the meal until he was able to do it himself. His dad would often come downstairs and make some comment about how he couldn't wait to eat all of it. Kurt remembered how upset he'd often get about this, telling his dad that if he wanted to it, he would need to help make it. His mom would tell Kurt that if his father tried to cook anything, he would probably kill everyone within a sixteen mile radius from the smell itself. And Kurt would laugh at that.

After a week of being Chosen, he was slowly losing his mind. He instinctively went to Blaine's kitchen, taking out sugar, eggs, butter, flour, whatever he needed to make a good breakfast. His body went on autopilot, measuring and pouring and letting him forget about all of his problems. It didn't matter that he wasn't with his dad, wasn't with Finn, wasn't with Carole, his step mom. It didn't matter that he was alone. It didn't matter that his mom was never coming back. It didn't matter that he wasn't happy, didn't think he was ever going to be happy. It didn't matter that he sometimes wondered if it would be better just to end it all now. It didn't matter that he knew he could never end it all because he couldn't leave his family alone. It didn't matter that he spent every day praying that somehow things could get better. It didn't matter that he couldn't do anything right, that his life was a mess, that he didn't want to  _feel_ anything ever again--

It didn't matter. All that mattered was that Kurt added the perfect amount of baking soda.

"Hey, I love that song," a voice said from the back of the room. Kurt whipped his head around to see Blaine standing there, his dark hair plastered to his head as it always was. "Sunshine of my Life by Stevie Wonder, right?"

Kurt hadn't even realized he'd been singing that song. That was the song his dad used to sing to him when he was really little, when he used to love singing more than anything in the world.

(He hadn't sung in so long)

"Yes, it is," Kurt told him, nodding his head, then turning it back to his work. "If you don't mind, I'm a bit busy here."

Blaine didn't seem to be able to comprehend the term "personal boundaries", for he was suddenly right next to Kurt, leaning in front of him to look into the large mixing bowl. "That smells really good. Do you bake a lot? What are you making?"

Kurt turned away, pretending to get something from a different cabinet to have an excuse to move away. "If you must know, pain au chocolat."

"Excuse me?"

Kurt sighed, propping himself against a kitchen counter. "Pain au chocolat translates from french to literally mean 'chocolate bread'. It's really a croissant filled with chocolate."

"Well, it smells really good," Blaine repeated, then seemed to want to take it back. "I already said that, didn't I? Oh shit, wow, I'm really awkward, sorry. I mean, I'd already said it, now I just sound repetat--I'm going to stop talking now."

Kurt actually had to bite his bottom lip to prevent himself from chuckling out loud. He wasn't sure what Blaine wanted from him, but it was probably something that any spoiled Elite would want from their Chosen. Unpaid labor? An ego boost?  _Sex?_ Absolutely not. Never. Kurt wasn't going to let his first time be with some asshole Elite who only wanted him for his body.

Kurt turned away from Blaine, focusing on the mixer in his hand. "Yeah, you probably should." He didn't look up again until he was sure Blaine had left the room. 

*****

Burt Hummel was the most cliche baseball dad in the world and Kurt loved him with all of his heart. They'd been through a lot over the years, what with Burt learning how to adapt to having a gay son who was so different from him. He may not have been entirely comfortable with it at first, but he'd never stopped loving Kurt, never stopped trying to be a good father, never failing to push himself outside of his comfort zone to make sure his son felt safe and happy in his home, and Kurt loved him for all of that.

That being said, sometimes Burt Hummel made some very stupid choices, and it was Kurt's responsibility to take care of that.

"For fuck's sake, Dad, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he snapped, taking the salt shaker out of his father's hand.

"This takeout is bland," Burt simply stated.

" _"This takeout is bland'_ " Kurt repeated. "So you decided to fucking die? Is that what I'm hearing here?"

Burt scoffed, running his hands over his bald head. "I've been on this diet for so long I don't even remember what red meat tastes like. Plus, the heart attack was over two years ago."

"You're not a kid, Dad," Kurt said for the umpteenth time. He hoped that if he actually said it enough times, Burt might actually hear him say it and listen to him. "You've got to take better care of yourself."

Kurt's dad rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. "So, catch me up, kid. I haven't seen you in a week. How's Finn?"

Finn was actually doing surprisingly okay. He was actually developing a relationship with Rachel, the Elite that Chose him, and they seemed very happy together. "Finn's doing well. He really likes Rachel."

"That's good. I'll be sure to tell Carole. How about you and Blaine?"

Kurt sighed, closing his eyes. "Terrible. I hate it. I don't want to get to know him, I just want him to let me go home."

Burt leaned forward, looking his son directly in the eye, the way he always did when he was going to tell him something important or serious. "Listen, I understand why you're upset, I really do. But look at it from his point of view. He's grown up in a society where Elite Chose Commons and fall in love with them. He's probably devastated now that he knows its not the way it works."

"So...you want me to force myself to fall in love with him?"

"No, I want you to open up your mind," Burt corrected. "Give him a chance to be your friend. Let him down gently. He doesn't understand how hard this might be for you, but if you're willing to learn how hard it is for him, he might be able to do the same."

Kurt smiled softly, reaching across the table to take Burt's hand. "Thanks, Dad. I love you."

Burt grinned at Kurt, clasping his hands around Kurt's. "I love you too, kid."

*****

"There's some extra pain au chocolat."

Blaine looked up from his book, his hazel eyes meeting with Kurt's blue ones. He seemed confused.

"There's some leftover pain au chocolat, the chocolate croissant. I remembered that you said it smelled good, and I was wondering if you wanted it."

Blaine placed his book on the bed, standing up warily. "I'd really like that, actually. Thank you."

Kurt nodded stiffly. "You're welcome," he said, turning and walking out of the room. Maybe he would give Blaine a chance. Maybe he wouldn't immediately shut him out. Maybe he would try to be friends if Blaine turned out to be nice enough.

He was never going to enjoy his life here, but he could at least be the bigger man about it.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Kind of a mini panic attack? If you're triggered by stuff like that, I wouldn't read
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Todd Broztman didn't love that many people. Not really, not with all of his heart. He didn't like to let himself go that way, let himself become so connected with someone that they understood everything about him. Nothing actually ever  _lasts,_ nothing stays with you forever, so there's no point growing close to someone who you're only going to lose. No matter how hard you fight for something, how hard you grip onto something, your hand will eventually get too tired to keep holding on. He let himself love Amanda, his little sister, who he could be in to his life for as long as he wanted her to be. He loved Farah, his family friend, who he could keep a connection with because of how close their families. He loved his parents...kind of...? It was almost as if he had an obligation to love his parents. He didn't really  _dis_ like them, but he also didn't know them well enough to like them. They were always kind of just...there.

The last thing he'd ever wanted was to get close to an Elite, someone he would never be able to hold onto, but then he'd met Dirk. Dirk Gently, the sweet fourteen-year-old boy in the ridiculous, brightly colored jackets who'd been mesmerized by every tree, every animal, every store, every strand of hair, every particle on the Earth. Dirk, the sensitive boy who came over to Todd's house so that he wouldn't have to be at home with his step-father as much as possible. Dirk, the boy who was special in the way everyone wanted to be, who could randomly guess what picture Todd had drawn without actually seeing it, who claimed that the universe spoke to him, who only wanted to use his strange powers to help the people around him.

Maybe it seemed to good to be true. Dirk, a real life angel who actually didn't seem to realize how much of an asshole Todd was. He'd told himself that there was no way he and Dirk could be friends anymore and cut it off. He didn't even have a real reason why, he just had to leave. He was probably just scared. Scared of Dirk? No, Dirk couldn't harm his worst enemy if he tried. Scared of himself? Probably.

He'd wanted to reconnect. He really did. But then everything happened...Amanda...pararibulitis...and he knew he couldn't, never again,  _never--_

"Is there any reason why you're staring at that coffee table as if you could light it on fire with your mind if you give it an intense enough glare?" a voice interrupted his train of thought. Todd looked up at Dirk, who was wearing a bright red leather jacket. That actually made Todd chuckle a bit.

"Nothing," he told Dirk. "Nothing's wrong."

"Something's wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Todd lied between his teeth. Of course,  _everything_ was wrong, but he couldn't let Dirk know that. Dirk deserved to think Todd was totally comfortable with this. "Everything's great."

Dirk sighed, his expression turning serious. "Todd, I'm not stupid, you know. I can tell when you're lying."

Todd sighed, wringing his hands. "Wow. You really are psychic, aren't you?"

Dirk went completely still, his eyes wide open. He was shaking, but it was only slightly visible. Todd starting panicking, wracking his brain for something that could've triggered him when he remembered--

"Oh  _shit,"_ he said, standing up. "Dirk, you're not that. Psychic, I mean. I know that's not the way it works, you can't control it, you hate that word--I'm so sorry. I just...just...forgot."

Dirk seemed to recover, though he was still a bit shaken up. "Don't worry about it, Todd," he said, immediately. "I do understand, you know. It's been quite some time, I don't remember absolutely everything either, and it's not that big of a deal. Really, it's one hundred percent, totally fine."

Todd could tell he was doing That Thing. The thing where he's insecure about something or wants to make sure someone else is happy, and he starts over-wording and elaborating everything ten times more than he actually needs to. Todd wanted to comment on it, but something told him that this was not a good time to do that. Dirk already seemed to be moving on, anyway.

"Did you hear that Farah was Chosen?" he said, sitting on the couch.

"Really?" asked Todd. "Who Chose her?"

"My friend Tina," Dirk informed him, grabbing the bowl of popcorn Todd had been eating stuffing them in his mouth. "Tey m' a 'ew mons a'o an go' v'r cos," he stated, matter-of-factly.

"Excuse me?"

Dirk swallowed the popcorn. "They met a few months ago and got very close. She didn't tell you?"

"No, we haven't been...talking all that much, recently," Todd told him. He left out the fact that Farah had stopped talking to him because she thought he was being insane when he refusing to see Dirk. She might have been right.

Dirk shrugged, shoving more popcorn into his mouth. "Th'r t'o bocs d'n 'nd to 'he ri't."

"One more time."

"They're two blocks down and to the right. If you want to visit them."

Todd nodded. "I'm actually gonna go do that now, if you don't mind. It's been a while."

Dirk nodded back, but Todd wasn't sure he'd actually heard anything. He was too focus on the documentary that's just come on about butterfly migration. Todd saw himself out.

*****

Tina Tevitino was by far the craziest person Todd had ever met in his life, and this was  _really saying something_ because Todd lived with  _Dirk fucking Gently._

"So, you're a fellow bisexual?" asked Tina, hanging upside down on the couch.

"Um...yeah," responded Todd. "That's me."

"Ayyyy," responded Tina, pointing finger guns at him before promptly falling off the couch and screaming.

Farah sighed in exasperation, then turned towards Todd. "What do you want?"

"It's been three years, Farah. I missed you."

"Didn't stop you from ignoring Dirk," she snapped, crossing her arms in front of her. "And don't even try to justify yourself. You didn't see how devastating it was for him. You were his entire world, and you can't just take something like that away from Dirk."

"Well what did you want me to do?" asked Todd. "Tell him about the pararibulitis? Tell him that his best friend is  _weak--"_

"You need to let go of the things you did," Farah told him. She was right, she was always right, Todd  _knew_ she was right, but...he couldn't let go. Not that easily. Not now that  _Amanda--_

"Yo," said a voice from next to the couch. "Y'all sound on edge. Do you want some vodka? Or lemonade? Or vodka  _in_ lemonade, cause that could be--"

"No, thank you, Tina," said Farah, annoyed but also fondly. "No beverages are required."

"Mkay," replied Tina, then was silent.

Todd smiled at their dynamic. "You guys complement each other," he told Farah. "In an odd, bizarre way."

Farah blushed at that, ducking her head. "Thanks, Todd. That actually means...a lot."

Todd felt a spark of hope in his chest. Maybe he could fix everything with her.

*****

"I'm sorry," Todd said to Dirk, who had not moved from the couch since Todd had left earlier.

Dirk turned to face him, smiling. "About the p-word? Todd, you can't blame yourself for something my step-father did. Besides, my home life wasn't so bad. I had Hugo, my step-brother, and--"

"I'm sorry I left you."

Dirk seemed to become more reserved, but he kept forcing a smile on his face. "You had your reasons."

"It wasn't right."

"C'mon, Todd, there's no real right or wrong," Dirk chastised. "You should only know that. There's only trying to hurt as few people as possible."

Dirk was already changing the subject, and Todd decided to go along with it. He'd apologized, and there was nothing else he could do. Maybe it didn't really matter. He hadn't hurt anyone, after all.

(He'd hurt Dirk)

(Dirk was the only one that mattered)


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for verbal abuse and biphobia
> 
> This chapter is what happens when I don't get enough sleep haha.
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dakin could clearly remember a time when he had adored his father. He remembered looking up at his hero, the strong and confident man who could dominate any room he'd walked into. He remembered wanted to be exactly like him, always smirking, always self-assured, always getting whatever he wanted. 

He could also clearly remember the first moment he'd begun to realize his father wasn't the idol Dakin had always thought he was. He was at his friend James Lockwood's house when they were seven years old. He heard Lockwood's father asking his mother if she wanted to wash the dishes.

*****

 _"Why don't_ you _do the dishes?" she replied, laughing. "You're the one who eats the most in this household."_

_Lockwood's father put his hands up in mock surrender as he made his way to the kitchen, laughing under his breath._

_Dakin turned to his friend, confused. "Why did he just let that go?"  
_

_"What do you mean?" asked his friend. "She was just joking."_

_"But he just went and did it! Shouldn't he be telling her that she's lazy, or selfish? Isn't that how it works?"_

_Lockwood shook his head. "No, they don't say stuff like that to. They can't, they love each other."_

_"What's a 'love'?"_

*****

"Dakin? Are you okay?"

Dakin snapped out of his trance. "Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, for starters, you're completely missing the slice of bread and are buttering the table instead," replied Posner.

Dakin looked down. "Shit."

Posner giggled lightly, stepping forward and taking the knife out of Dakin's hand. Posner's laugh was different from any Dakin had ever heard before. It wasn't obnoxious or vociferous, it was just simple and sweet. Dakin noticed that he always had the biggest smile, though, whenever he laughed, and it always met his eyes. It was such an adorable contrast to how soft his laugh actually was that Dakin always smiled when he heard it. But he liked it best when Posner would laugh so hard that he'd snort then get this mortified expression on his face.

Those were just...things he'd noticed.

"I'm going to take this away from you and butter the bread myself," Posner informed Dakin. "I don't quite trust you with it anymore."

"Are you sure that's what this is about?" teased Dakin. "This isn't just one of your excuses to do more chores is it?"

He regretted the words as soon as they'd left his mouth, especially as he noticed Posner's left thumb twitching slightly. "Shit, Pos, I'm sorry--"

"Am I b-being annoying?" asked Posner. "About the chores? Do you want me to b-back off?"

"No, Pos, you weren't being annoying, I was just being stupid," Dakin told him, silently begging him to relax. "You can do as many chores as you want."

Posner's hand stopped twitching, but he still seemed slightly on edge. If Dakin ever met Posner's father in person, he was going to punch him in the face. Or worse. 

He watched his Chosen intensely staring at the bread he was buttering as if he could never look away from it. Posner was the sweetest, most innocent person Dakin had ever met, and he was the last person who deserved something like this. Posner deserves to feel safe and happy, to smile and laugh every day, to know how great he really was, and to be loved by someone.

 _Wait...what the fuck?_ Dakin thought to himself, panicking a bit.  _Love doesn't exist, remember? Never has and never will._

Oh, God, he had to get out of there.

"I have to go, actually," he said, quickly. "I was gonna meet with Fiona, so..." He trailed off, making his way towards the door.

"Have fun!" yelled Posner. Dakin turned around, unable to resist a snarky comment.

"Oh, you  _know_ I will," he said.

Posner faced Dakin, put two fingers together, and mimed gagging himself. Dakin was still chuckling as he left the house, walking down the street.

*****

"Okay, what is wrong with you?" asked Fiona, her arms crossed in front of her chest. "You never drop by unannounced."

Dakin opened his mouth to tell her some lie when he noticed a glass of lemonade on her counter. "Holy shit, wait, I have to tell you this story. The other day Pos was making lemonade, but he was so sleep deprived he used  _salt_ instead of sugar. His face got all scrunched up, it was so fucking adorable and hilarious."

Fiona's mouth was hanging open, her eyes wide. "Oh my God. You  _like_ him!"

" _No!"_ exclaimed Dakin. "No, no way."

"Oh, you've got it  _bad_. This is priceless!"

Dakin furrowed his eyebrows. "What, do you think there's something wrong with him?"

"No, actually," corrected Fiona. "I think he can do so much better."

He could feel his face turn scarlet. "I don't like Posner."

Fiona laughed. "You've lived with him for a solid month, you should've been able to acknowledge your feelings by now."

"Feelings of love don't exist," snapped Dakin. "All they are is an obsession that allows another person to have control and dominance over you."

Fiona's smile dropped. "Is that what this is about?" She reached out to him. "Dakin--"

He smacked her hand away and turned his back, trying to force the tears back. "Can we just do it?"

"Not while you're going through this," Fiona told him. He heard footsteps walking away from him, then the door opening. "You're not gonna get any sex here."

Dakin stormed past her, walking right at the door. He might as well just go back to the house and watch a movie. Or do something unproductive until Posner got back from training.

"Can't you just  _chose?"_ he heard a voice behind him ask. He turned around to see a teenage brunette with her hands on her hips. "You're hooking up with guys, you're hooking up with girls, so what is it? Are you straight? Are you gay?"

"Yes," Dakin responded, turning around and walking away.

"So you're just a slut, then!" she called after him. He walked faster, ignoring her.

*****

"You look angry," commented Posner when he got home from his training.

"Why is the fact that I sleep with both guys and girls so boggling to people? What do you mean I'm not a "real gay"? That probably because I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. I like girls and guys, and love is love. That doesn't make me a  _slut_. I don't recall my sleeping habits being any of your business, so don't go around telling me what I can and can't do."

"Fiona didn't put out again?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Posner," Dakin told him, avoiding eye contact. Posner came over and sat down on the couch next to him. "Some bitch called me a slut today cause I'm bi."

"Wow," commented Posner. "Are you okay? That's really offensive."

Dakin shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm mostly insulted by the fact that she called me a slut because I'm bi and not because of the perfectly good reasons I'm a slut."

Posner smiled softly, chuckling under his breath. Dakin looked at that smile and saw his mother, just the way he did every time. They didn't look the same at all, but they had the same essence about them, the same gentle kindness that made them strong. Dakin turned his head and looked at the dark TV, seeing only his father, arrogant, selfish, and weak.

Dakin had spent his entire childhood watching his father scream horrible things at his mother, about how  _awful_ she really was. He'd spent years pretending neither he or his father could hear her sobbing in the kitchen late at night. He could never let that happen to Pos. He could never let himself hurt him.

(He could never let himself love Posner)

(He could never let Posner love him back)


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for death and suicide attempt
> 
> You know, I didn't expect this chapter to get this dark and depressing. I really didn't. I apologize in advance, as this might be the saddest thing I've ever written.
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

When Blaine was fourteen years old, he watched  _The Breakfast Club_ for the first time. He remembered thinking it was pretty funny, and he enjoyed it a lot. It went into a lot of deep and dark topics about abuse and depression, and Blaine was in tears by the end of it. He definitely felt for every character, but Allison's character was the one who really had him shaken to his core. She'd been the weird, psychotic outcast for the first half of the movie, and she seemed to only be there for comic relief. Later in the movie, though, it was clear to Blaine that she had some serious problem in her home life. Out of everything in the film, Allison had the one line that hit him in the heart the most. When Andrew asked her what her parents do to her, she responded with one simple sentence.

_"They ignore me."_

Blaine hadn't realized how much of a problem that was for him until he heard that line. He saw this messed up, crazy girl he had absolutely nothing in common with on the screen and realized that they were much similar that he'd thought they were. Maybe that was the moment he realized his parents didn't  _really_ love him. They wanted to, sure, but they didn't. So...if his parents didn't love him, then who the hell was actually supposed to?

Kurt interrupted his train of thought. "This is my favorite scene."

"That's because you like sad things," responded Blaine, looking at Kurt on his left. Over the past month, once they started trying harder, they'd actually gotten a lot closer. Kurt really  _got_ him, and he was funny, sweet, and really witty.

Kurt shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth, somehow making it look elegant. "Well, maybe. But mostly cause Brian is my favorite character."

That made sense. Brain was the smart, A+ student in the group who seemed like he had the perfect, happy life. But on the inside, Brian was actually really messed up. "If you like him so much, why do you like the scene of him retelling his suicide?"

Kurt shrugged. "It's very accurately written, you know. The holding yourself to a standard you can't reach. The hating yourself when you can't reach it. All that, they got it right."

"I hate it when you talk like that," said Blaine, pausing the movie and reaching for Kurt's laptop to FaceTime Burt. He was better at calming Kurt down. Kurt grabbed his before he could grab it.

"Blaine, get the fuck away from my computer," snapped Kurt.

Blaine backed away, moving his hands up in surrender. "Glad to know you don't trust me."

"Blaine, thirty-six hours ago, you grabbed my phone, screamed 'FOR THE LOVE OF TIMBER', and shoved it into the garbage disposal!"

"I WAS DRUNK!"

Kurt snorted softly, opening the computer himself, as if he knew exactly what it was Blaine wanted him to do. It was moments like these he enjoyed. When he and Kurt were completely in sync, acting like they could read each other's mind. When, at the same time, Blaine was surprised by Kurt any time he did or said anything. The two of them could sit here on this couch, for hours on end, making jokes and laughing and teasing each other.

Wow. Blaine was pretty sure he was halfway in love already.

"That's strange," commented Kurt. "He's not picking up. He  _always_ picks up."

Blaine frowned. "Try him again."

Kurt's (brand new) phone starting ringing on the table. He muttered something about how he would do that once he picked this up before bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey Finn, what's up?" he asked before his face crumbled completely.

*****

In the short time Blaine had known him, Burt was really like a father he'd never had. Burt was totally supportive of Kurt's sexuality, acting as a role model for how Blaine wanted to be as an adult. He usually felt pretty accepted whenever he visited Kurt's old house. It seemed like Burt liked him and wasn't too upset about Blaine being the one who Chose Kurt.

Despite all of this, Blaine was still relatively surprised to be invited to the funeral.

He couldn't possibly imagine what Kurt must've been feeling. He and Burt had such a strong connection, and Kurt had already lost a parent. His Chosen was completely stone-faced from the moment he got the call to the moment they arrived at the funeral. Blaine didn't want to say anything, just in case he'd somehow make it worse. He simply put a hand on Kurt's shoulder as they walked towards the church.

Out of the crowd of mourners stepped a giant dressed in black. Blaine kept his distance as Finn silently wrapped his arms around his little brother, who put his face in his Finn's shoulder.

Even during the service, Kurt simply stared into his lap, blocking out the world. He didn't say any of the prayers, but Blaine respected that. He didn't believe in God, so he might've found it insulting in a way.

Carole, Kurt's step-mother, said a few words but had to helped back down when she burst into tears halfway through them. Finn said some words about how Burt helped give them a family and how much he looked up to him, shedding a few tears. Kurt finally went up and unfolded a sheet he'd had in his pocket. He stared at what must've been a speech before folding it back up and putting it in his pocket again. He looked up and spoke about how much he loved his father, how his father had saved him from so much darkness in his life. He spoke about how he didn't think this speech could do his father justice and he wouldn't be able to truly voice how he felt about his father in this one speech. He stated that he didn't believe in God because he didn't need to. Burt gave him enough faith as it was.

Blaine took Kurt's hand in his once Kurt'd sat down. "That was beautiful."

Kurt lightly squeezed it back, but didn't say a word.

*****

Once they'd gotten back home, Kurt immediately excused himself and went to the bathroom. Blaine sat on the couch, wanting to give Kurt space. What do you even say to someone who'd lost what Kurt'd just lost?

After a little while, Blaine realized it was taking Kurt a while in the bathroom. He rushed over and knocked on the door.

"Kurt? Kurt, are you okay?"

There was no answer. Blaine started to panic.

"Kurt? What's wrong?"

Silence. Blaine pulled on the door knob, but it was locked. Seeing no other option, Blaine rammed into the door as hard as he could, knocking it open.

Kurt. Kurt was standing in front of the sink, crying, pouring pills into his hand. Before he could fully understand what was going on, Blaine was shaking Kurt, forcing him to drop all of the pills onto the ground.

"What the fuck, Blaine?!" shouted Kurt, trying to pull his hand out of Blaine's grip.

 _"How could you?!_ _"_ screamed Blaine. "How could you do that to me?! To _Finn?!"_

Kurt dropped to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face in his knees. "I'M FUCKING  _SORRY_ , OKAY?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?!"

Blaine sat down next to Kurt, who was sobbing now. "It's not the end, Kurt. I know it feels like it must be, but it's not. Remember, there was so much to live for after your mom died. There's stuff to live for now, I promise. There always will be stuff to live for."

"I just want it to stop, Blaine," cried Kurt. "I want everything, all the pain, to stop."

Blaine rubbed Kurt's back, his heart aching. "I know you do. It won't be easy, and it'll hurt, but it'll get better. And I promise to be here for you the whole time."

Kurt finally looked up, his watery, bright blue eyes meeting with Blaine's. Before he could realize what was happening, Kurt was leaning forward, pressing his lips against Blaine's. His first reaction was to kiss back, to let his heart soar, to let it happen. But he pulled back.

"Kurt, stop," he instructed. "You can't do that right now, you're a mess. You don't know if that's what you want."

"Yes I do," insisted Kurt. "I know that you've made me happier than anyone else has, in a long time. I know that no matter what, even at my worst, I'd rather spend time with you than anyone else, alive or dead. I also know that you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and that I love you."

Blaine's eyes brimmed with tears. He wished he could know for such whether Kurt meant it or not, but he couldn't let this carry on right now. He didn't want Kurt to do anything he'd regret later.

"Let's talk about it in the morning," Blaine soothed. "When you're more in control. If you feel the same way then...then I'd love to be with you."

A ghost of a smile flickered across Kurt's face, and it seemed like he was able to forget about everything, even for just a moment. "Okay."

Blaine helped Kurt out of the bathroom and into bed. He was relieved,  _so_ insanely relieved that he'd walked in just in time. He was so glad Kurt was alive.

(He didn't want to think about what would happen if he didn't get there in time)

(He didn't think he could survive without Kurt)


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, sorry this is so late! I wanted to get this out on Tuesday, but my schedule didn't agree with me.
> 
> Trigger Warning for abusive parent (I seem to be doing a lot of these)
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dirk never thought of Riggins as a father figure. Sure, he called him "step-father", but it was never anything more than a title. He was sure Riggins never actually thought of him as a son either, and he  _knew_ that he was only adopted for the purpose of being a lab rat. Riggins had heard about the "extraordinary" things he could do and wanted to see what he could do with it. See if he could control it.

Dirk knew better. Nothing could control the little hunches he felt about things, least of all  _himself._ Riggins, however, was never convinced, and Dirk spent his life trying his hardest at stupid tests and guessing games he knew he could never get right. Riggins tried everything from rewards to punishments to changing environments, seeing if there was anything he could do to make it work. In a final act of desperation, he adopted another son, Hugo, to keep Dirk company. The logic behind this was that Dirk's loneliness might've been affecting his ability to control his ability.

Dirk and Hugo grew as close as real brothers and complimented each other in strange ways. But, to Riggin's dismay, it didn't seem to change anything about the testing. He finally let Dirk into the world as a thirteen-year-old. He hadn't been able to simply walk outside for no reason in so long, so everything fascinated him. He loved simply observing everything around him and trying new things. This is what lead him to trying to hang upside from a tree with his legs and falling to the ground, hitting his head against a root. He remembered, against the pounding headache, seeing a shorter boy, who was about his age, running towards him to help him up. He blacked out, waking up in rustic but cozy cottage. A woman was tending to his head while the boy from earlier stood behind her, worry evident in his eyes.

He became closer with Todd than he had with anyone else. Todd just  _got_ him in a way no one else did. He listened to everything Dirk said, always let Dirk come over when he wanted an escape, always let Dirk be totally and completely himself. He never even  _felt_ like himself when Todd wasn't there. When Todd left, it was a huge blow, but he always assumed Todd had a good reason for it. Todd would never hurt him on purpose.

"Do you know what we should do?" Dirk asked, suddenly.

Todd dropped his box of Cheerios on the ground. "Jesus Chris, Dirk, how the fuck did you get into this room?"

"Unimportant. Do you know what we should do?" he repeated.

Todd sighed in exasperation, rubbing his forehead. "No, Dirk. What should we do?"

"I don't know, Todd! I was asking you!"

Todd shook his head, turning and walking away. "Fuck this."

Dirk ran after Todd quickly. "Did I do something wrong? You seem upset."

"Yes, Dirk, I'm upset," Todd snapped. "And it's none of your business, okay? Just leave me alone."

He marched into their room, slamming the door in Dirk's face.

*****

When Dirk was upset or confused, he liked to be with other people. "Other people" was usually code for "Todd", but that didn't seem like a particularly good idea at this particular moment. He instead decided to arrange a little get together with some of his friends. And, wow, he'd never realized how strange some of his friends were until he saw them together.

Panto was an Elite and Silas was a Common. They'd met and fallen in love a few years back, and they'd agreed that Silas would be Panto's Chosen. And, yes, obviously Dirk was very happy for them, but the  _PDA..._ it got a bit much sometimes. 

Hugo's Chosen, a girl name Mona, was a very sweet, funny girl. She didn't experience sexual or romantic attraction, which she called being "aroace" (a mixture of the words asexual and aromantic). Hugo was just aromantic, not experiencing romantic attraction, and the two of them had agreed that Mona would be Hugo's Chosen so that neither of them would forced into a relationship they were uncomfortable with being in. They lived together, but only as close friends.

"I still do not understand, Panto," Mona said. "The pink hair...it is a family trait?"

Silas's eyes grew wide in alarm as he motioned for Mona to stop talking. Panto grew very confused and slightly offended.

"Pink hair is a trait that has been passed through my family for many generations. It is a badge of honor, pride, and courage. It is the same as your night-black hair. What is so confusing about this?"

Dirk jumped in, desperate to change the subject. "I actually called all of you today because I think something's wrong with Todd. He's getting mad and snappy for no reason, and I feel like I should be worried."

Hugo snorted. "The only thing you should worry about is that he's halfway in love with you."

Dirk felt his heart practically stop in his chest as his head started to spin. He could feel heat rising to his cheeks as his eyes widen profusely. He looked around at everyone's face to see their reactions, try to figure out if this was really true. Everyone looked at Hugo in shock, but they didn't seem shocked by what he said. They seemed shocked by the fact that he  _actually said it._

"Did...did you not know that?"

 _"No."_ squeaked Dirk.

Hugo shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. "Well. Now you know. Also, tell him if he hurts you, I'm gonna fucking kill him."

"Thanks for that," said Dirk, barely focusing in on the conversation anymore. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now.

(He had no idea if he was terrified or relieved)

*****

"Hey, Todd?" said Dirk that evening. "Can I ask you about something?"

Todd barely looked up from his hands. "Yeah, sure."

Dirk tentatively moved over to the bed, sitting down next to Todd. "Is everything okay? You seemed to be upset."

"I'm fine," Todd said, a little too quickly. "I'm really sorry for how I acted this morning, but I swear, nothing is wrong."

"You know that I don't need magic powers to tell that you're lying to me right now?"

Todd chuckled, finally looking up. "I miss Amanda. It's been hard being away from her like this for so long."

Dirk felt guilt sink into his heart. He hadn't realized that he would be separating Todd from Amanda by doing this. Suddenly, a brilliant idea struck him, and he sat up. "You know what we should do? We should meet up with her!"

Todd nodded. "Yeah, sure thing. Sounds good."

Dirk leaned against Todd, sure that they'd made up now. He then remembered what Hugo had told him earlier and grew slightly concerned again. "Are you sure there isn't...anything else?"

Todd hesitated before smiling and Dirk and saying, "No, nothing."

(Dirk knew he was lying again)


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, being all productive and publishing chapters two days in a row!
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

A thing Posner learned about Dakin very quickly is that he was a very laid back person. He allows everything to work itself without him interfering. This means that he's able to sleep in until twelve everyday without thinking about the stuff he has to do. Usually, it wasn't a problem. Actually, it was quite funny to always be the one to watch the sleepy Dakin try to function right after he woke up. Also, Dakin sucked his thumb in sleep without realizing it.

It very much  _was_ a problem when Dakin decided to invite Irwin over early in the morning for some strange reason. Okay, that reason was probably to hook up, but the reason why he decided to arrange it for the morning escaped Posner.

"Dakin," Posner said, shaking him as softly as he could. "Dakin, you have a guest."

Dakin cracked open one eye. "Tell them to fuck off."

"I can't, Dakin, you invited them."

"Fuck." Dakin sat up, pushing his messed up hair out of his face. "Hello, Irwin. I did invite you, didn't I?"

Irwin nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yes, you did. You texted me last night. Let me guess, you were drunk and you don't remember it?"

Dakin shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "No, it was just two am and I wasn't thinking properly."

Posner silently commented that he didn't think Dakin was every actually thinking properly at any time of the day. He chose not to voice this comment out of common curtesy (read: he didn't want to embarrass Dakin in front of his hookup).

Dakin practically dove back into the pillow. "Eh. I don't feel like waking up right now."

Irwin crossed his arms over his chest, making his way out the door without another word. Posner quickly raced after him, feeling bad that he'd come over for nothing. He asked Irwin if he wanted something to eat, and the latter accepted.

"You know," Irwin mentioned, chewing on his eggs. "Dakin told me, when he first Chose you, that I should try to find you a boyfriend. Well, my Chosen and I are doing the same thing you're doing with Dakin, and I thought you guys make a good couple."

Posner was about to respond with some comment about how that would sound nice before he got fixated on one detail. "Dakin asked you to find me a boyfriend?"

Irwin shrugged, taking another bite out of his waffles. "Yeah. He thought you seemed lonely. He said that you mentioned that you never expected to get a boyfriend, and he wanted to do something nice. For once in his life."

Posner was torn between gratitude and disappointment. On one hand, it was a really nice thing for Dakin to do. He noticed Posner upset about something and decided to help him out. On the other hand...why couldn't Dakin be Posner's boyfriend. Obviously, he didn't like to date, but...Posner really thought they could go somewhere.

Irwin's face dawned with realization. "Oh. You like him, don't you?"

Posner was tempted to deny it, for a second, but realized that was not something he could get away with. "Yes, I do...but...I mean, who am I kidding myself to think he'd actually like me back? I mean, he clearly doesn't want to settle down for anyone. Why should he settle down for me, of all people?"

"Hey, don't say that!" said Irwin. "Plenty of guys are attracted to you! My Chosen was interested in meeting you after I told him about you. Plus, you would be the one settling down for Dakin. He's an asshole."

Posner snorted to himself, knowing Dakin was definitely an asshole. But...there was still this boyish innocence about Dakin, something that made him so lovable. He was filled with self-confidence, he never let anyone put him down, he always seemed to make everything better. But, honestly, how could Posner kid himself into thinking they could ever actually happen? Dakin hated romance, Posner loved it. There was no way.

He leaned forward, propping up his head with his fist. "Tell me more about this guy."

*****

Posner had watched Dakin try to balance an empty Capri-son on his nose for the better half of ten minutes, trying to decide whether he should tell him about the date he'd been set up on. Would it seem like a desperate attempt to get attention? Probably not, right? After all, Dakin made it obnoxiously obvious every time he went to hook up with someone. It often got to the point where Posner simply did not want to know anymore details.

He picked up a rubber bouncy ball on the counter (God knows where it came from) and tossed it at Dakin's face to get his attention. It hit the Capri-son and scared Dakin so much that he screamed.

 _"Jesus Christ, Pos!"_ shouted Dakin.  _"Why?!"_

"I needed to talk to you about something," Posner said. Dakin seemed to realize that it was actually serious, and his expression turned attentive. "I, uh, wanted to thank you. You know, you told Irwin to try to find me a boyfriend, and...now I have a date. Planned. With a guy. Just to be clear."

Dakin's expression seemed to turn completely blank. "A date? With a guy?"

"Yes, I believe I just said that."

Dakin ran his hand over his face. "Irwin found him? Because of what I told him?"

Posner nodded, trying his best to read Dakin's expression. It was always hard to tell, especially since Dakin hid his emotions so well from everyone. "You know, I never really thought I'd get a chance like this. And it...it just feels nice, you know?"

"Not exactly," replied Dakin. "I never really approved of the whole 'true love' concept."

Posner gave a little half smile, feeling a kind of disappointment. He really wished Dakin reacted better, seemed happier for him. After all, he was the one who wanted this in the first place, wasn't he?

"Hey," said Dakin, interrupting Posner's train of thought. He stepped forward, pulling Posner into his arms. Posner rested his head against Dakin's shoulder as the latter held on tight. "I'm happy for you, okay? I really am. And I think you should go for it."

Posner smiled properly. He told Dakin how much his approval meant to him and that he would certainly go for it. He didn't tell Dakin how he really felt. He didn't say anything about how upset he'd felt when he found out Dakin was trying to set him up with someone else. He didn't tell Dakin that he felt sort of hopeful when after his bad reaction to Posner's having a date. He didn't tell Dakin how much he wished that he was going on a date with Posner instead.

(He didn't say anything because he didn't want to ruin everything)

(The way he ruined everything)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for grief and suicidal thoughts
> 
> I honestly hate this, but, ya know what, it okay.
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

For some strange reason, Kurt felt a sort of betrayal when he woke up with Blaine no longer next to him in the bed. After last night, he thought they would be able to talk everything over in the morning, set everything straight. But Blaine hadn't waited for him, hadn't been as desperate to talk as him. Or maybe Kurt was just reading into it way too much.

He felt an overwhelming guilt that the first thing he hadn't thought of the morning after his father's funeral was his father. He then felt a huge blow to his heart when he remembered all over again that Burt was gone. He dropped his head back onto the pillow, staring straight ahead with misty eyes. He wished and wished for everything to turn numb, even for a second, to forget about all of it. Burt was the one who kept him together, really made his life worthwhile. Now that he was gone, he had to find something else to give him a reason to stay. He just didn't know if he had the willpower to do that.

He felt even more guilty about having those thoughts. He pushed them to the back of his mind, knowing how much they would upset Blaine. There had to be  _something_ worth staying for, a way to get his happiness back. He started thinking about Burt all over again. He gripped his fingers tightly on his blanket, his knuckles turning white. Sobs began to rack his body as he felt a sense of hopelessness washed over him.

*****

When Kurt finally found the strength to drag himself out of bed, he quite surprised to already find a breakfast set out on the table. It was very elegant, actually, despite the fact that the breakfast itself only appeared to be pancakes with syrup. There were two candles set up on the table with a vase of red roses set in the middle of them. It was a very sweet and simple and Kurt appreciated that sort of style.

What was most surprising about this scene, though, was Blaine sitting at the table, nervously wringing his hands together, seemingly unaware that Kurt had walked into the room. "Did you add some icing to your hair gel this morning? It looks especially shinny."

Blaine jumped in his seat, startled. He composed himself and turned around, smiling nervously. "Hey," he said. "I don't know if you remember...last night..."

"I remember," Kurt told him. "I remember everything."

Blaine nodded. "Well, I said if you felt the same way, I'd love for us to be together. And, well..." Blaine gestured to the setting of the table. "I think its pretty obvious how I feel. So...how do you..." Blaine paused, shaking his head. "This is going to be so badly phrased and I apologize in advance for that."

"That's okay."

"I guess, the only question is, how do you feel? About me? Like, in this moment?"

Kurt felt a ghost of a smile flicker across his face. "I feel like I definitely want to be with you. In all moments."

"Oh." Blaine's face turned a very pretty shade of pink. "Well. That's a relief."

Kurt, unable to think of anything overly romantic to say, said, "You're aware that red roses symbolize love and romance, right?"

"Goddamn it, Kurt, I'm trying to hit on you, accept the fucking flowers and kiss me."

Kurt fully smiled, for the first time since his father died, and stepped closer to Blaine. Leaning down, he kissed Blaine, much gentler and sweeter than last night. It filled him with a type of joy he couldn't quite describe, a type of fullness.

(He'd found a reason to stay)

*****

In a way, it wasn't really fair to Blaine. He still didn't know the reason, the  _real_ reason, Kurt had despised him so much the first time they'd met. He deserved for Kurt to tell him. He also deserved not to have to hear it from Finn, who had no idea how to keep a secret.

"I want to talk about my mom," Kurt said right before they went to bed that night. "How she died."

Blaine frowned. "You don't need to do that. Not if you don't want to."

"I do," Kurt insisted, gesturing for Blaine to come sit next to him. Blaine complied, taking Kurt's hand as if it would support him. Kurt took a deep breath and began. "I was with her at the time. We were at a cafe because to pick up coffee on the way to my school. When she turned around in line, she accidentally knocked over an Elite boy, about my age. 

"Oh shit," whispered Blaine, knowing exactly what the implications of that were.

"They'd already shot her before I could figure out what was going on," Kurt went on, remembering those few seconds where his life completely turned around. "Because how  _dare_ a Common touch one of their precious Elite."

A realization seemed to dawn on Blaine, but it disappeared immediately, and Kurt figured he was probably imagining it. Blaine put an arm around Kurt's shoulder and pulled him close. "I get it Kurt. I totally get."

"They shouldn't be able to do that," Kurt muttered into Blaine's shirt. "They can't just kill her like that."

"It was the law," Blaine said, but he spoke with a kind of sarcasm. As if he was mirroring exactly what Kurt was thinking.

The system was evil. They had no excuse, no justification. They were just pure evil.

(And they'd cost Kurt everything)


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Todd, he doesn't know what he's doing. Ever.
> 
> Please be nice in the comments, but don't be afraid to give constructive criticism.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Todd had called Amanda and asked her if there was any good time for them to meet up. Apparently, she was going to be very busy until tomorrow, but she agreed to meet then. That gave Todd a bit of comfort. He really had missed her.

It still didn't solve the ultimate problem, though, which was that he was totally and hopelessly in love with his best friend. That in itself wasn't really a problem, since he was pretty sure Dirk loved him back. The problem was that Dirk didn't really know who he was. Todd couldn't let Dirk know that he was actually the biggest liar in the world. That he was a piece of shit who didn't deserve anything, never mind the sweetest, most wonderful person alive. Once he knew, it would ruin absolutely everything.

But how could he  _not_ tell him. He would have to live with the fact that he was lying more and more to Dirk everyday. Their relationship would be built entirely on deception, and Todd wasn't sure that he'd be able to live with that.

Dirk seemed to be able to read Todd well enough to tell that something was wrong. There was no way he was going to be able to keep this a secret forever. He might as well say something before it spirals completely out of control. On the other hand, wouldn't that just hurt Dirk more? If Dirk stayed ignorant, maybe that would be protecting him. It was a terrible thought to have, but Todd would be lying if he said he wasn't considering it. After all, all he really wanted as to protect Dirk.

"Todd?" Dirk's voice interrupted Todd's train of thought. "Could we fill a croissant with a chicken? One that's still alive?"

Todd frowned. "Dirk, how much sleep did you get last night?"

"Eight minutes, consecutively."

 _Fucking hell,_ thought Todd, steering Dirk to their room. Every once in a while, Dirk spent a night being unable to sleep and became totally delirious. Todd really had to get him checked out for insomnia one of these days.

In a matter of seconds, Dirk was already fast asleep. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. He had this little, subtle smile, almost as if he were sharing a secret with somebody. Todd realized, for the first time, that Dirk had dimples. He had no idea how he didn't see it before, but now he couldn't look away from it. He suddenly realized that watching someone while they were sleeping was considered creepy, so he stepped away from the bed, turning to leave the room. He banished all thoughts of his best friend from his mind.

*****

Todd sat alone at a cafe later that day, needing some quiet time. That time was interrupted a few seconds later when a strange looking woman sat down in front of him and taking his muffin. Todd watched in shock as she bit into his muffin, wrinkled her nose, then promptly spat in out again. She then took another bite and did the exact same thing.

"Sorry, I'm--" The woman looked up hotly at Todd, who immediately stopped talking. He allowed her to continue and he went back into his own thoughts. He suddenly heard a ding from his phone. It was a message from Dirk, saying that he had just woken up. Another one came a second later, telling Todd that Dirk wanted to talk to him about something when he got home. "Shit."

"You okay?" asked the woman. She had a deep, gravelly voice with a thick accent that surprised Todd.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Todd told her, lying through his teeth.

The woman shook her head. "That's a lie. Lyin's bad, you know."

Todd laughed humorlessly. "You could not be more right."

The woman put down the muffin and leaned across the table. "My name's Bart. There, you know my name, you gotta be my friend now. And friends talk 'bout what's wrong."

 _Fair,_ thought Todd, slightly taken aback. He might as well have someone to air his frustrations to. "I lied to my little sister. And if I told her the truth she'd probably disown me."

Bart nodded, seeming completely focused.

"So now I have this best friend who I feel like I'm in love with. He's the sweetest, most trusting person I've ever met. If I told him, he'd realize his best friend was an asshole and he'd be really hurt by it. So not telling him would be protecting him. But that just makes one more person I'm lying to, and our relationship would be a complete lie. So, what do I do?"

"Gotta tell him," answered Bart, leaning back in her chair. "Just gotta."

Todd was about to make some comment about how it wasn't that simple, but he realized it was. It really was that totally simple. There was no other option.

"Thank you," Todd stood up, starting to walk away. He turned back at the last second. "My name's Todd. So, you're my friend now too."

Bart shrugged. "Cool."

*****

"Oh, thank God, Todd, I really need to talk to you about something," Dirk said as soon as Todd walked through the door.

Todd felt a feeling of dread build up in his heart. "Me too. You go first, though."

Dirk's face went red as he started fidgeting with his hands. "So...so, Hugo told me that you're in love with me."

_Fucking son of a bitch._

"So...are you? In love with me, that is?"

Todd sighed. "I said that to your brother in a moment of privacy. I did not realize it was going to be shared."

"So...you are?"

"First of all, if you start another sentence with 'so...', I'm going to scream. Second of all, yes. I am."

Dirk's face went completely bright red at this point. "Well, good. Because I am. With you, as well."

Even though Todd kind of knew, he was still taken aback by that answer. "What do we now?"

Dirk smiled wide. "Anything you'd like."

"Well...I'd like to be your boyfriend. If that's okay with you."

Dirk was nodding enthusiastically. "Yes, Todd, very okay. Very much okay." Without another word, he skipped away into the kitchen.

Todd sighed running his hand over his face. He'd say it tomorrow.

(He couldn't ruin tonight)

(Dirk deserved better than that)


End file.
